THE WAR OVER BASEBALL HOT DOGS IS A TRADITION LIKE NO OTHER

Words by Flobo Boyce – @Floboboyce

Whether you call them tube steaks, red hots, or glizzys, hot dogs have been a ballpark concession staple for seemingly forever. It’s simple food, really: a cooked sausage in a bun. Add some toppings to make it yours, and you’re good to go. As of this writing, there are literal groups online that argue about where to find the best hot dog in baseball. I find this interesting because I typically avoid eating one out in the wild (More on that later). This all started when I saw this image being passed around on baseball websites.

It lists the current frank suppliers to all 30 major league baseball teams. Shout out to the guy who thought this was important information because I’ve been obsessing over this graphic for days. Do people know the difference between each brand? What happens if a team changes a glizzy-supplier? Can you bring your own brand to the stadium if you’re not feeling the offerings? Is there a degree of difficulty if you have a hot dog eating contest with a Fletcher’s dog over a Schneider’s? I lost sleep over this.

But first, some personal history: I wasn’t much of a hot dog person growing up. Yes, I ate a lot of franks as a kid, but my family would use our frozen pack of Nathan’s as a replacement for breakfast sausage since it was cheaper. And while I love Nathan’s, the idea of franks would associated with hard times and scant breakfast for a long time. So, I wouldn’t touch the stuff for YEARS after I left home. But what brought me back, you ask? Well, last season I went to Kauffman Stadium to watch the Royals play and it was Dollar Dog Night. Lemme say that again: you could be good to go for the whole evening for under a five spot. Like the old school wrestler, The Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase often said, “Every man has his price.”

Then again, I’m a guy who could wreck a buffet with enough lead time.

The cost-effective nature of a hot dog is intentional if you can believe it. I won’t go into the whole conspiracy here, but there’s a reason why a comparable burger can set you back 2-3 times as much. This video goes into more detail about the history.

In New York City, there was a three-way battle for weiner supremacy. I grew up knowing brands such as Nathan’s, Hebrew National, and Sabrett. Most hot dog vendors used the latter, while Nathan’s works REALLY hard to be the dog of record in the Big Apple. So much so that there was a time when Nathan was the official hot dog of Major League Baseball. Hebrew National? Well, they had those ads from back in the day:

“A Higher authority, sucka!”

My point is I can see why multiple teams would align with them. Especially if you’re the Rays (Nathan’s):

If you charge $20 for a pretzel dog the size of my foot, the meat’s gotta deliver.

But there are a ton of brands that I wasn’t familiar with. I’ve seen the Vienna Beef logo before, but they seem to have the Midwest in a chokehold. Indeed, when I was reading Reddit posts on this topic, people went HARD for that Vienna logo. It’s serious out in these streets, apparently.

In Los Angeles, where I currently reside, there are TWO different weiner heavy hitters. First, the LA Angels (formerly the California Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California) uses HOFFY, a brand I know exists only because its ads look like a comic book more than a food company.

Yeah, I’m suddenly not hungry anymore.

But they are also the brand served at Pink’s Hot Dogs in Hollywood, so I respect the game.

The other LA team, the Dodgers, has one of those famous hot dogs in baseball history. The Dodger Dog is legendary and as sought after as visiting Dodger Stadium itself. Before Papa Cantella’s took over the job, the Farmer John brand made Dodger Dogs for FIFTY years.

If anything, that graphic that put me down this rabbit hole tells me I have to try more hotdogs when I go to a ballgame. Historically, I’ve been a pretzel and beer guy, but I think there’s nothing wrong with mixing it up every once in a while. I like my hot dogs with ketchup and relish, and because of that, I’ve been banned from entering the City of Chicago. So, if anyone wants to mail me a Vienna Beef, I’ll send you my address.

A hot dog during the game is part of the experience and instantly transports you to simpler times. Just typing this makes me smell the fresh-cut grass and hear the crack of the bat. At the end of the day, you can’t go wrong. 

Except whatever Arizona is doing with that Bar S brand. You can skip that one. Boomsticks in Texas are okay, however.

Words by Flobo Boyce – @floboboyce